I am so proud of this accomplishment! This has been in the making since 2003.
If you like slap-stick comedy then read further...
This is a comedy CD with my own cast of characters, and not of music tracks. This is sort of like an audio book, but more on the side of acting out the people. It is not a narrative kind of script. It is funny scenarios.
The stage is set and this is life at a radio station called ANGEL 107 FM. Slap-stick comedy at it's very best!
CAST OF CHARACTERS:
SCIANTEL - Who is a sweet, beautiful child of God. Ridiculed for her faith. She is a part-time disc-jockey for Angel 107
YESHUA - Who is the Son of God. Invisible to everyone else but not to Sciantel. He is right there
and she talks to Him as if He is.
MILDRED - She is a minister of a church. She is a bit of a dork with a strong southern accent. She is a full-time disc-Jockey for Angel 107.
AGNUS - She is extremely fat. Homely looking woman. Big and mean. She has the strangest
sounding voice you will ever hear! She is a full-time disc-jockey and has a daycare in her
SAMUEL AND TOM - They are dead-beat brothers who live together. Very low in smarts. Both
ANIMAL - Loud and very obnoxious. Part-time disc-jockey but it doesn't last for long. He is not all there upstairs if you know what I mean.
HAROLD - He is the manager of Angel 107. Very ugly and nerdy little man. Gets along with nobody.
He is a rich, eccentric millionaire that lives off in a creepy looking mansion way on the outskirts
This is Season 1: CD 1
Please keep in mind that these are taken from old files and may have some background noise like hissing and hum.
Look if you wish on amazon.com fore my Last name in: () Here is its for you. (Abolfathi) or (ABOLFATHI) You'll see one written by Farid which is boring as **** to the Market in a **** Can! My Books are mostly real and Adult Contents galore. If you are offended by my Books? Don't order them! That's my only answer to your situation as I am protected under the First Amendment Freedom of Speech! So Do Not Flame me or I'll retaliate far worse!
as the rain falls an soft whispers of your nme pass my mind...i wish i understood why you left...still here waiting for you to call...the days feel like monhs an weeks turn to years...staying up at night wondering what went wrong...my love for you still bets in my herart like an indian war drum...you are my everything and more...the sacrifice id make...if you only knew how you light my world...fill my life with joy...if you only kneq what you mean to me...if you only knew that i love you...
as the stars above sparkle against the midnight sky it makes me think of you...how those beautiful eyes of yours as they shimmer....drawing me closer with each gaze...heavens angels brought me to you an from that day on ive promised to love an care for you....like no other man has before with you i will not be a liar...but always keep you whole...nothing you will fear for im here, forever an always...my hearts one desire, the one i care about most of all...i love you with all my heart....you shall forever an always hold the key to my heart babe...
sunshine is glowing...my hearts pounding...your eyes set my emotions a blaze as i think about how no one but you has made me a better man...how truly blessed to have you a smat woman like you in my life....you alone are the holder of the key to my heart....the light of my darkest days an the one to always keep me smiling no matter what....if your 5 feet or on the other side of the world, we will always be together in our hearts....ill always be when you call...no body makes me feel like i do when im with you babe....the things you do to my head....the way you tell me you love me...my arms are your castle walls always there to hold you tight an keep you warm...
i have no money only love to give....with my love as my guide an you by my side ill always find my way....as i think of you my mind explodes with joy as i rember the times we have spent together....my heart pounds like an indian war drum, my stomach fills with butterflies as i hold you in my arms an sing melodies of my love for you....as the time goes by the ecstasy builds stronger an stronger as the days come an go....you are my true hearts desire the one i cherish most of all...like the star filled night my heart is filled wtih endless bliss...
your love is the wood to my furance never a flicker, endlssy glowing like the sun above....when i look ino your eyes i see the stars that shimmer an light up the night skies...as i gaze upon your beauty i smile, my mind goes crazy, an m heart takes off liike a jet...as i wrap these arms of mine around you times seems to fade...love is all that rins...for your are my hearts one desire the one i care about most of all....the holder of the key to my heart...light of my world....i love you more than anything babe....if my love turned to water the word would drown...if it turned into a star the universe would be light up like a christmas tree...if it turned into a fire no wind strong enough could extinguish it...nor the hot burning love i have for you babe...
as the rain falls it sounds like the piter pater of little feet......the lightning roars like a lion....as we lay there watchin......listenin.....each rain drop is another day i have fallen for you......a memory of our dying love....a reason why i love you.....for in your eyes i see stars shinning bright.....the warm glow of your smile fills me with endless bliss......the ecstasy grows stronger an stronger with passin day.....you are the love of my life...the one id choose overall......the stars on my darkest nights....the beacon of my unwaivering love....holder of the key to my heart....my hearts one true desire, the one i care about most of all....never will i break your heart....in sickness or in health im yours, in this life or the next always keeping your whole....as i look in your beautiful eyes i say i love you, as i kiss you in the rain
What Would Happen If Erma Bombeck Bought A Vibrator
By: Blanche Belljar
Only 99 cents at Amazon
This is one of the funniest stories about buying and using a vibrator for the first time that you will ever read. It is written in the style of Erma Bombeck, who liked to write about trying out new items of interest to homemakers in the 1970's. As far as I know, she wasn't bipolar—but I am—and I just bought and used a vibrator for the first time. For readers 18+
5 STAR REVIEWS: Here's what readers are saying about this book:
"Delightfully funny and poignantly honest, she showed us how to beat the bipolar monster and get the sex back."
"Told unabashedly from a first person account, it is tastefully written and will make you laugh out loud at the author's experience getting aquainted with a new addition to her sexual arsenal."
Greetings gentle reader, today's offering is eye candy for those of you that enjoy stories set in the fantasy realm. For us writers it is known as 'the heroes journey', where the central character embarks on a life changing journey of discovery. Written entirely tongue-in-cheek, the following is meant to tickle your funny-bone as much as instill a sense of wonder...so without further adeiu: <blockquote>
It?s all Joe can do to keep a straight face.
"Uh, either way is good."
"Fine. Have you been told what needs to be done?"
"Either you have or you haven?t. Which one is it?"
"Given the circumstances, I think I?d like to hear it again."
"Very well but remember, you?ve already agreed to go and it?s too late to turn back now."
"Yeah, whatever." Joe replies.
"The Heart of Magic is missing. Your job is to recover The Heart and return it here, where it belongs, got it?"
"I got that part but no one?s told me who took it and what this ?heart? looks like."
"The Heart of Magic is not a thing but a living being and you?ll know it when you see it. As far as we know no one took it, we only know where it went."
Joe purses his lips and shoots a frosty glance at Erin.
"All will be made clear huh?"
"What part of ?you?ll know it when you see it? didn?t you get?" Erin shoots back.
Joe rubs his furrowed brow and shakes his head.
"I didn?t expect this to be easy but I was expecting a little more help. Where?s this ?guide? they?re sending along with me?"
"Right here" replies a tiny voice that jingles like a talking wind chime. Joe stares at Ulieo in disbelief.
"This is just beautiful, you didn?t tell me that you were sending me to **** with Tinkerbell!"
Ulieo jangles with fury at the mention of the famous fairy?s name.
"Ix-nay on the inkerbell-tay if you don?t want to wear your gonads for earmuffs." Erin cautions.
"Her and what ar?Ooof!" Joe hits the ground with a thud, clutching his groin.
When Joe finally recovers it is light again and he finds himself alone in the now deserted circle of stones. He looks about for Erin and her wizard friend but they are nowhere in sight.
"What happened?" Joe croaks hoarsely.
"I think you were about to apologize to me." Ulieo tinkles coolly.
"Oh, right! Uh, I?m wicked sorry. I didn?t mean to upset you." He mumbles sincerely. And you better hope that we don?t happen upon a bugzapper somewhere in our travels or you?re toast! He thinks to himself.
"Are you ready?" Ulieo asks. Joe gingerly pulls himself erect and nods in the affirmative.
"Which way?" he grunts.
"Think you can walk to Nevermore?" Ulieo tinkles, amused.
Joe gives Ulieo an astonished look; he has an idea what the fairy is hinting at.
"Think happy thoughts!" Ulieo chimes as she sprinkles him with pixie dust. At first nothing happens. Then Joe recalls the Christmas when his parents gave him a pony?and he levitates off the ground.
It suddenly occurs to Joe that his parents were dirt poor and he?s lived in an apartment all his life; there never was a pony?
And he plummets towards the earth!
"Nice pony, thanks Mom and Dad!" He holds this thought until he catches up with the tiny fairy.
"Uh, I never got a pony as a kid." Joe explains.
"It doesn?t matter. The thought of getting one made you sufficiently happy." Ulieo replies.
"Well, I?ve never had a date with Barbie either. If I imagined that I had, would I go supersonic?" Ulieo does not answer but instead shoots away into the distance, leaving a sparkling trail of pixie dust for Joe to follow. Joe does his best to keep up, flying as fast as he dares.
He doesn?t want the fairy to get too big a lead or he may lose her?and he has no idea how to get out of here on his own.
The trail of pixie dust leads Joe toward what appears to be the flickering lights of a large city. The closer he gets, the larger the metropolis becomes.
"I ain?t never seen nothin? like this in no fairy tale" Joe mutters. Ulieo?s dust trail vanishes in a rundown part of the sprawling city. Joe is startled to find himself standing at the corner of a deserted intersection, no longer aloft.
He tries to will himself back into to flight but he is unsuccessful. Either he?s all happied out or it?s more than a coincidence that he became earthbound the same place Ulieo?s trail of pixie dust gave out.
Joe reaches into his leather jacket and palms his mother of pearl handled straight razor. Joe is no stranger to the city and he knows the mean streets when he sees them.
On his own again, Joe sets off in search of the nearest bar figuring it will be the likeliest place he?ll get a handle on his quarry. He walks towards what appears to be downtown and he spots a ?bag lady? digging in a dumpster.
The ancient, toothless bearded hag farts and a lightening bolt shoots from her backside, instantly frying a nearby rat. The hag cackles with glee at her handiwork. She picks up the flash fried rodent by it?s thick tail and swallows it whole, followed moments later by a burp that shoots flames twenty feet into the air!
Joe gets a sinking feeling in his gut as the words ?You?ll know it when you see it? ring in his mind. He eyes the old girl suspiciously but decides to stick with his first impulse rather than spend any more time checking out this dangerous, albeit weird phenomenon.
His instincts serve him well and before long he sees a rowdy group exiting an alleyway, obviously drunk. Joe waits until they clear the area and cautiously enters. The alley is pitch black but a few yards ahead a single lantern illuminates a sign over a doorway. Joe smiles when he reads the sign, The Magic Harp. </blockqute>
In this tale I insert an average, er, self-styled tough guy into an extremely unfamilair set of circumstances...with the obvious results.
Anyway, you can read all about Joe's magical adventure in Big Question, my collection of short stories that in this instance asks, why would magical creatures require non-magical assistance?
This humorous, PG-rated mystery about a teenager sleuth, who's very similar to Nancy Drew, is written especially for women baby boomers who grew up reading and loving the Nancy Drew series. It takes place in the French Quarter of New Orleans where Nancy, along with her father and friends, go on vacation. When the concierge at their hotel dies mysteriously, Nancy is hot on the trail to find out whodunit. Her fun and funky Aunt Audrey joins the investigation, and they get help from surprising real life characters. When Nancy's not having café au lait and beignets at the Café du Monde, she's being chased down Bourbon Street by a man in a hoodie. Come ride the St. Charles streetcar through the Garden District, eat at Brennan's, listen to live jazz in Jackson Square, and learn about voodoo and ghosts with Nancy in her latest adventure.
The Ghost in the Plantation: A Nancy Keene Mystery
by Louise Hathaway
Available as both an eBook and paperback at Amazon & Createspace